The Emperor's New Groove

Manhunter

Michael Mann sure does love the color blue, and nighttime cinematography (he is very good at it)

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

Completely OBSESSED with this film! Vibes are ✨IMMACULATE✨ The use of lighting/shadows in black and white cinematography is CHEF’S KISS🧑🏻‍🍳😘🤌🏻 The vampire girl has incredible taste in music, the Death // White Lies NEEDLE DROP??? The shot where she’s skateboarding down the street could be in a museum, and the TRANSITION where her chador covers the camera as she flies by??? Everything about this is PERFECT, and would make a wonderful double feature with Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person. In fact, Arash and The Girl (and their cat) should meet up with Sasha and Paul, I think they would all get along as a group of friends🖤

House of Wax

Is this THE peak 2000’s horror film?? Idk but it fuckin riiiiips! Soundtrack is nothing but bangers, practical effects galore, damn-near perfect cast, creepy atmosphere and set-pieces, and what a crazy final act! Poor Sam Winchester, he didn’t deserve that. Intrusive thought: this is like that “is it cake?” show but instead, it’s “is it wax?”

No Other Choice

That look of terror when he sees 10 missed calls from his wife is so relatable. This was hilarious, yet simultaneously a scathing exposé on late-stage capitalism, my favorite PCW that I’ve seen so far. Camerawork and editing are fucking INSANE! But what’s more insane is how this was snubbed from all categories at the Oscars; honestly, Fuck the academy.

Willard

Gonna tell my kids this is the Ratatouille live-action remake

Porco Rosso

One of the Miyazaki films I missed during my childhood, Porco seems like a chill guy.

Anaconda

Jon Voight’s ponytail was scarier than the snake

Train to Busan

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Absolutely obsessed with the set design, and I see why this was such an inspirational and pioneering film of the horror genre. I just wasn’t hooked by the story, but still glad I watched it. Would be great to throw this on at a Halloween party, just for the vibes alone.

Drive My Car

Proof that it’s never “just a car”. 🚗 This film does for the Saab 900 Turbo what Initial D did for the AE86 Trueno.

Minority Report

Nobody runs fast like Tom Cruise

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

2.5 stars purely for the 2D animation Starfox sequence, give me that entire film now!

Repo! The Genetic Opera

While I don’t think this fully works as a musical (literally every line of dialogue being sung instead of spoken), there are plenty of good things going on here. The costuming, set design, and overall gothic aesthetic is great, as well as the practical effects. I just think this interesting premise would work much better as a non-musical sci-fi/action/thriller. Bonus points for all the graphic novel panels, I would’ve watched the entire story told just through those alone tbh.

The Mummy

So I definitely have seen bits of this here and there in my childhood, but those memories are hazy at best, so I’m calling this my official first watch. This has a lot going for it; the visuals/lighting, cast/performances, score, and blending of genres (adventure/horror/comedy) are all great. The only thing keeping this from reaching 5-stardom for me are a few certain aspects that have not aged very well, but this is still a certified classic.  Intrusive thought: why did we stop using screen-wipe transitions in movies?

Night of the Comet

I kept hoping for more zombie action, but overall this was a good time lol

Treevenge

I feel so vindicated as a lifelong fake-Xmas-tree-advocate

Anaconda

Maybe the real Anaconda was the illegal spiritual sequel we made along the way

Crime 101

Solid crime thriller; great cast, cinematography on point, score/sound design amazing. I did however feel every minute of the run time, but that only lost it half a star.

Thrash

I’m a simple man—I see sharks, I press play, I enjoy.