Diary
May 2026
Donnie Darko
Donnie should have gone back in time to the first Thanksgiving to get turkey off the menu, but a reverse sacrifice works too I guess
Screamboat
My favorite part is them making up a backstory for Walt Disney
The Man with the Smallest Penis in Existence and the Electron Microscope Technician Who Loved Him
Me and who
The Astronomer's Dream
I liked this one a lot better than A Trip to the Moon surprisingly, even though that one's more famous. I find this one a lot more charming and the backing track isn't as annoying
The House That Jack Built
Wasn't Jack supposed to build a house? That is clearly a castle
Ping Pong Hamlet
The creators of Ping Pong Hamlet could have made Marty Supreme and Hamnet, but Josh Safdie and Chloe Zhao could never have thought of Ping Pong Hamlet
The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
Okay sure
April 2026
Inception
So Inception is basically the ultimate form of gaslighting
Marty Supreme
BIG MARTY
Dune: Part Two
"The hand of God be my witness" "I am the Voice from the Outer World" "I will lead you to PARADISE"
Wonka
The concept of future movie Wonka 2 being a remake of the original 70s film
Marty Supreme
MARTY SUPREME. APRIL 24. HBO MAX RELEASE DAY.
Evil Bong
What if gay porn was straight
Whiplash
Do not go into this movie expecting it to be about jazz music despite it very prominently featuring jazz. You won't understand it and probably will hate it if you do
Poor Things
See review for full thoughts "It's worth seeing just for Emma Stone's performance alone, but also for the artistic direction and to open your mind to more unconventional films not interested in appealing to mainline audiences. I do not think making your mind up from reviews alone is a good tell for your enjoyment of the film or not." "TLDR: If you're unsure about watching the film or not, just watch the damn film!"
Bones and All
In hindsight, it's fucking hilarious how Maren and Lee had their first kiss in a slaughterhouse when the book author wrote the story to be a metaphor for veganism
The Invisible Man
Good lord, there's invisible penice
Conclave
See review for full thoughts "Conclave is an informative, enjoyable, and thought-provoking watch to both Catholics and non-Catholics alike. Despite my issues with the films, I find that it has more to enjoy than flaws I found with it. While I wouldn't name it as one of the best films to watch from 2024 (I personally see Lisan al-Gaib as my Messiah, not Jesus), you would be better off watching it and seeing the magic of filmmaking combine with the uniqueness of Catholicism."
Colours of Time
I wish I could fuck Claude Monet too
Lady Bird
I've come to realize that some movies are made specifically about the white American experience and that's okay. Everyone deserves to see themselves represented in a film My mother would have whooped my ass if I ever talked to her like that though
