nathansnook

This Is Not a Film

"𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘦." Funny that for Panahi you eventually become the characters you've created. As how you exist ceases to exist in what you thought was the existential extinction of your own existences. Creating characters has always been difficult for me, mainly because in a Being John Malkovich (https://letterboxd.com/bulgogiboi/film/being-john-malkovich/) kind of way, they all end up as me, but no. That couldn't be further from the truth. As much as I want to say that, perhaps the truth is that I am my own characters no matter how much I don't think I am. And for the reader, none of these anxieties exist because, ultimately, they see the characters as me, extensions of me, parts of me. But for Panahi, cast out the cast, what are you left with? It is at the beginning of this question. What happens when you break down film. Instead of translating script to visual medium, what if you read it aloud? "𝘐 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵." Is this defiance? Is this storytelling? Is this just the births of many gone unrecognized because our brains, so full of dreams and ideas, gush out, wanting to exist so much alongside us? Is this how we kill story or is this just of many ways how stories can be told? What was the last story you told? Could you tell it again? With feeling? The same ones? The same tears? The same hurt? Joy? Does joy deplete after telling and retelling? Cuts don't happen when they need to. Expectations are not met. For the imagined picture, blocking is made in-picture by way of tape found in a drawer at home. We play pretend. A pillow is a bed. A chair is a window. All done makeshift in the comfort of the director's living room. So little is controlled. He strips off a portion of tape to make a meek doorway. "𝘚𝘰, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦." What are you doing all by yourself? Is humanity collaborative? "𝘐𝘧 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘮 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘮?" This is not a film. If anything it is a person, wanting to become so much like a person that perhaps you lose value in that becoming. It is perhaps to be or the state of being does one achieve who they are, who they are born as. And so he ends on hope. From teacher to student, experience asks the young about how he will move through the future, what it holds, how it will be held only to be led by an image that burns into the reversal of how we are born as. 🥮🥮🥮 If you enjoyed this write-up, please consider purchasing my novella here (https://nathansnook.bigcartel.com/). Or find other thoughts on books and films here (https://www.youtube.com/@nathansnook/videos).