sweeneytom

Love, Antosha

In what is undoubtedly the most emotional 48 hours I've ever experienced watching film, the same weekend Marriage Story premieres is the same weekend I get to watch Love, Antosha Opening weekend August 2011 I came home from school and got to see the new Fright Night remake with my dad. Immediately I found myself fondly appreciating the new Charley Brewster, the star of the film I had never heard of, a young man named Anton Yelchin. Two years later I'd recognize his name and voice in the English dub of one of my fav Studio Ghibli films, From Up On Poppy Hill, and I'd also admire his presence in Only Lovers Left Alive, a little Jim Jarmusch vampire film dominated by the relationship between Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston. And the only other film I had gotten to see him in, he was the only part I wanted to remember; he tried his best to make it work, but he couldn't make Terminator Salvation good This is all to say: for five years I didn't see Anton Yelchin in much, but I loved him in what I got to see. And then the news of his death broke one summer night while I was home from college, and I was just fucking devastated because good actors aren't supposed to die when they're pretty much my age/in their 20s. I started watching this documentary about his life an hour or two after the news broke that Juice WRLD, one of my favorite modern rappers this decade has provided, died at the age of 21, so I'm in the middle of a state of mind where I'm simultaneously 1) wishing people pretty much my age would stop dying and 2) wondering why I'm different from any of them that I'm not one of them Kristen Stewart's segment made me cry. Jennifer Lawrence's segment made me cry. Anya Taylor-Joy's segment made me cry. The last twenty minutes in general made me a wreck. I'm kinda really sick of crying this weekend and this month. I did smile more than I expected to though. I'm happy we can live at the same time as people like Anton, people who just genuinely do try to make life more enjoyable for those around them. That's the kind of person I've tried to be. I hope I can be remembered for that